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Jokes/Funny Stuff Post and read jokes here!

Shaun

Posted 29 October 2004 - 06:51 PM

Anyone got any good jokes?

One from my maths teacher: What king was good at fractions?

Henry the 8th blink.gif

They don't have to be school subject related!

cc100

Posted 29 October 2004 - 07:28 PM

Trust a maths teacher, eh?! I'm useless with jokes but other people have sent me these:

Once upon a time, an American, a French, a Lebanese and a Chinese guy went up to the mountains to test what an echo sounds like.

After taking a very deep breath, the American shouted: ''Hello!'' The echo replied :"HELLO...HELLO...HELLO....."
Then, the French guy shouted:"SALUT!" The echo replied: "SALUT...SALUT...SALUT...."
Then, the Lebanese guy shouted: "MARHABA!" The echo replied "MARHABA...MARHABA...MARHABA..."
Finally, it was the Chinese guy's turn. So he shouted: "CHING FWAN SWOU!"
The echo replied:
"Say, what?"

And since it's coming up to the American presidential election, here's a little Bush joke:

Dick Cheney walks into the Oval Office and sees The President whooping and hollering.
"What's the matter, Mr. President?" The Vice President inquired.
"Nothing at all, boss. I just done finished a jigsaw puzzle in record time!" The President beamed.
"How long did it take you?"
"Well, the box said '3 to 5 Years' but I did it in a month!"

LOL I'm sure you've heard worse...

Shaun

Posted 29 October 2004 - 07:43 PM

QUOTE
Dick Cheney walks into the Oval Office and sees The President whooping and hollering.
"What's the matter, Mr. President?" The Vice President inquired.
"Nothing at all, boss. I just done finished a jigsaw puzzle in record time!" The President beamed.
"How long did it take you?"
"Well, the box said '3 to 5 Years' but I did it in a month!"


Very good!

Heres another from from me:

Two goldfish in a tank, one says to the other: 'How do you drive this thing?'.

So bad!

$impl北展▇

Posted 29 October 2004 - 08:03 PM

Here is another physics one,

Q: What did the thermometer say to the graduated cylinder?

----------------------------------------------------------------------


A: "You may have graduated but I've got many degrees"


heh... rolleyes.gif

$impl北展▇

Posted 29 October 2004 - 08:04 PM

And another one....

Q: What did one photon say to the other photon?

------------------------------------------------------------

A: I'm sick and tired of your interference.


dry.gif

$impl北展▇

Posted 29 October 2004 - 08:08 PM

And another one.......

Q. What did one electron say to the other electron?


---------------------------------------------------------------


A. Don't get excited. You'll only get into a state!


Hahahahahah

I didnt make these up btw , just incase u were wonderin..

unsure.gif

I think these are enough lol

Shaun

Posted 29 October 2004 - 08:30 PM

Lol!

Paul

Posted 29 October 2004 - 09:18 PM

What is the difference between a physicist, an engineer, and a mathematician?

If an engineer walks into a room and sees a fire in the middle and a bucket of water in the corner, he takes the bucket of water and pours it on the fire and puts it out.

If a physicist walks into a room and sees a fire in the middle and a bucket of water in the corner, he takes the bucket of water and pours it eloquently around the fire and lets the fire put itself out.

If a mathematician walks into a room and sees a fire in the middle and a bucket of water in the corner, he convinces himself there is a solution and leaves.

Paul

Posted 29 October 2004 - 09:18 PM

A neutron walks into a bar; he asks the bartender, 'How much for a beer?' The bartender looks at him, and says 'For you, no charge.'

Paul

Posted 29 October 2004 - 09:19 PM

Two atoms bump into each other. One says 'I think I lost an electron!' The other asks, 'Are you sure?', to which the first replies, 'I'm positive.'

Vazza

Posted 29 October 2004 - 09:41 PM

Q. what did the plumber say to his wife?
A. Its over Flo

------------------------------------------------

The man who invented the hokey pokey died last week aged 93. There was a lot of trouble getting him into the coffin. It all started when they put his left leg in...

------------------------------------------------

A frog phones a psychic hotline and is told
" You're going to meet a beautiful, young girl who'll want to know everything about you"
" Great," says the frog. "Will I meet her at a party or what?"
" No," says the psychic. "Next term in biology"

------------------------------------------------

Did you know diarrhoea's hereditary?
It runs in your genes

------------------------------------------------

just a few from me rolleyes.gif

linds

Posted 30 October 2004 - 12:49 PM

I like bad jokes. So here's a few.

Q. What's pink and fluffy?
A. Pink fluff

---------------

Q. What's blue and fluffy?
A. Pink fluff holding it's breath

--------------

Q. What's red and fluffy?
A. Murdered pink fluff.

---------------

Q. What's green and red and goes one hundred miles an hour?
A. A frog in a food processor.

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Q. What's green and red and brown and goes one hundred miles an hour?
A. The same frog a week later.

---------------

Q. What has a red nose and lives in a test tube?
A. Bozo the clone

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Q. What did Hitler say to his troops before they got into their tanks?
A. "Men... Get into your tanks."

---------------

Hahaha, this one is quite sad but I nearly wet myself when I heard it...

Q. What's black and screams?
A. Stevie Wonder answering the iron

DON'T BLAME ME, BLAME KAY!

-----------------

And that is all for today.

Terrence

Posted 31 October 2004 - 06:39 PM

biggrin.gif HAHAHAHA!!

Crap jokes are so awesome.


This is my favourite joke ever;

There were two sausages in a frying pan. The first sausage says "Cor blimey, it's hot in here, innit?".
The second sausage says "HOLY CRAP A TALKING SAUSAGE!!"

---

Why did the little girl fall off the swing?

Cos she had no arms.

---

Why did the baby drop it's lollipop?

It got hit by a bus.

---

What's brown and sticky?

A stick.



laugh.gif

Shaun

Posted 31 October 2004 - 06:54 PM

QUOTE
Hahaha, this one is quite sad but I nearly wet myself when I heard it...

Q. What's black and screams?
A. Stevie Wonder answering the iron

DON'T BLAME ME, BLAME KAY!


I think that's the best joke I've ever heard!

Shaun

Posted 02 November 2004 - 06:34 PM

What did the traffic lights say to the car?


Don't look -- I'm changing!

Miss World

Posted 05 November 2004 - 03:06 PM

hey these jokes are a bit wierd, i dont get many of them, and what are photns anyway?

but heres one: When does a school paper stop being a school paper?

A: when it turns into the teacher.

class man

Shaun

Posted 05 November 2004 - 05:59 PM

I don't get it...lol

Terrence

Posted 05 November 2004 - 07:11 PM

Yeah, I don't get the school paper one either :/

Shaun

Posted 05 November 2004 - 07:12 PM

A bit below the belt:

How are michael jackson and the ps2 related?


They're both made of plastic and little kids turn them on!!!

linds

Posted 06 November 2004 - 03:37 PM

Hahaha...

I'm still trying to work out the school paper one. =/

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